‘What harmless thing instantly makes you think, "I don't trust this person"?’: Reddit debate about small, seemingly harmless traits that immediately signal a person is untrustworthy

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Aug 18, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

I'm starting to notice that being friendly isn't a positive thing anymore

I was on /askreddit today, and I stumbled upon this post. Obviously, I was intrigued and wanted to read it to see if I could find tips on improving my selection process and start distinguishing who is trustworthy from who isn't.

I was surprised to see that most of the attributes people listed were things I would normally consider positive, friendly, and open. Frankly, I'm not sure if I have been wrong all this time or if people on the internet tend to be very wary of normal, outgoing folks. Of course, I believe it's the latter, so I can confidently say the advice didn't work for me.

Still, I'm looking for advice on this topic, but one that is more coherent with what I see in the world- for example, people trying to learn too much information from you without revealing anything about themselves, people who treat those they consider to be of a lower status badly compared to those 'above' them, people who don't match their actions to their words, things like that, and maybe, some subtle appreciation about character that makes you untrustworthy that I have never come across.

Has anyone got any advice?

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  • Do not trust this person

    Cheezburger Image 10656843264
    via Brooke Cagle

    The person saying 'I'm such a good person'

    Picture does not depict real parties

  • What harmless thing instantly makes you think, "I don't trust this person"?

    flakeeight People who are extra curious about my life. There are some types of people like this, but some have this weird vibe that I just can tell. Hard to explain.
    via flakeeight
  • Dowensy2 Inconsistencies in what they say and do, and catching them giving suspicious second glances.
    via Dowensy2
  • man_interesting_mos Overly friendly when you first meet them.
    via man_interesting_mos

  • Is she suspicious?

    Cheezburger Image 10656842752
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The suspicious overly-friendly  person

    Scene shown is a visual representation

  • MelancholyBean How they treat people who cannot do anything for them
    via MelancholyBean
  • Cheezburger Image 10656843008
    via Alex Haney

    The place to check how someone treats servers

    Still frame for contextual reference only

  • Professional_Fuel127 When they tell me who they are, like "I'm a really thoughtful person". 9 out of 10 their actions are the complete opposite
    via Professional_Fuel127
  • katzyakuki they are too eager to know details about horrible things that happened in your life
    via katzyakuki
  • Anonymous-8142 when they wanna hear everything about your life but doesn't spill anything about their own.
    via Anonymous-8142

  • My favourite is the one about defining themselves. I have surely encountered people who are very quick to define themselves with a very positive attribute, like being earnest, because they, 9 times out of 10, don’t possess it. 

    It’s like when you go to a job interview and you say your worst flaw is that you are a perfectionist and you need to deliver everything on time, when you and I both know you will leave everything you can for ‘future you’ to resolve.

    So be careful when you listen to those words, but not so careful that you become paranoid, OK?



     

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Tags

friendship friends askreddit toxic relationship
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